


An Overabundance of Optimism

by embroiderama



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Science, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-24
Updated: 2012-05-24
Packaged: 2017-11-05 23:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/412199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embroiderama/pseuds/embroiderama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the battle is over, Bruce is ready to crawl back in his hole, but Tony has some other ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Overabundance of Optimism

**Author's Note:**

> IDEK. This is my attempt to get Bruce Banner out of my brain, but I don't know if it's worked. Also, the only Hulk canon I know is _The Avengers_. Thank you to [](http://que-divertido.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://que-divertido.livejournal.com/)**que_divertido** for the suggestions and encouragement.

After the battle, after the shawarma, after they got Loki squared away, Bruce spent the night in a bedroom in the Stark tower that had managed to avoid any destruction beyond a fine sheen of dust shaken free from the ceiling. The next day, the urge to get out of town was overwhelming so he tracked down Tony in his lab and tried not to look at all the beautiful, expensive equipment as he mumbled his thanks and turned to leave.

Before Bruce could get out the door, Tony called out to him. "Hey, Dr. Banner?"

Bruce turned back, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of the pants Pepper had conjured for him. "You can call me Bruce, you know."

"Bruce. You know what you said back in the helicarrier, about getting low?"

"Uh, yeah."

"You get low again sometime, I want you to come see me."

"Why? It's not like I can do anything to myself without the other guy showing up. And what are you going to do anyway, hold my hand and tell me everything will be okay?"

"Probably not, but have you ever considered trying to develop more control over the hulk—the other guy?"

Bruce scoffed. "He's the antithesis of control. You ever try to control a tornado?"

"I haven't put any real time into weather engineering, but I've had a few ideas, yeah."

"Of course you have." Bruce looked down and shook his head. "Why are you trying to help me anyway?"

Tony shrugged. "Because I think I might be able to make a difference. You've worked on controlling the hulk before?"

"I tried. A lot of people tried, and a lot of them ended up hurt. I don't want anybody else to get hurt on my account."

Tony nodded, that self-assured, smug look that made Bruce really dislike the guy sometimes. "So that's it."

"What?"

"You don't think you deserve help."

"What are you, a shrink? But for what it's worth, the damage I've done, the people I've hurt, the _ruin_ caused by _my_ hands? Help isn't what I deserve."

Tony shrugged. "You know, I spent years making weapons that were specifically designed to kill people more efficiently than ever before. The designs for many of them came directly out of my head, I financed their manufacture and profited from their sale. I convinced myself that it was okay, that the weapons were only used to kill the 'right' people. But I think we all know the truth about that now."

"So how do you forgive yourself for that? How do you live with it?"

"My self-esteem is exemplary."

Bruce coughed up a bitter laugh.

"No, seriously, I think I'm awesome. I made some bad things, and now I make better things." He gestured at his chest. "I could take this out, and let myself die to punish myself for the blood I have on my hands, but who would that benefit? I'm doing work that will help the environment, potentially save and improve an untold number of lives. Isn't that more important than some kind of eye for an eye retribution?"

"That's you, not me."

"No, you're just laying low, saving lives on a small scale because you're too afraid of yourself to do anything else."

"You've seen what the other guy can do."

Tony tilted his head to the side in acknowledgment. "I've seen footage, yeah. I saw some footage from the helicarrier and read the reports, and you know what I saw?"

"A big green guy trashing the place?"

"I saw you tangling with Thor. You could've gotten past him, hurt a lot more people, but you focused on Thor who, let's face it, none of us knows how to kill. And you tore apart the aircraft that was firing on you, destroying some very expensive SHIELD equipment, but you threw the pilot clear of the explosion when his ejector seat would've put him in the right spot to be roasted."

"I doubt he saw it that way."

"Nonetheless, you saved his life. And Cap told me what happened out there with the Chitauris, the way you changed into the other guy on purpose, controlled, not out of pain and rage. Not to mention the small fact that you saved my life. Which, you know, I appreciate."

"But I don't remember any of it. I saw how you looked at me when I talked about putting the bullet in my mouth, but you don't understand that when I turn into the other guy _I die_. And maybe one day I won't come back from it, so I wasn't gambling with much that day."

"So you don't want to take a chance on improving the situation, getting control? You just want to crawl back in your hole and hide until the next time SHIELD needs the giant green rage monster to protect us from aliens?"

"Yes, thank you, that's exactly what I want."

"Well, your loss. But remember what I said—you get low, come see me."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever."

~~~

 

Months later, Tony was neck deep in work when Jarvis got his attention. "Mr. Stark, you have a visitor."

"Busy!"

"Sir, you instructed me to remind you that you're never too busy for Dr. Banner."

"Hah, I was right! Let him up."

"I already have, sir."

Tony pulled off his gloves and welding helmet and walked out to meet his guest. "Wow, you look like crap."

"Thanks." Bruce ran a n unsteady hand through his unruly hair. "I hope this isn't a bad time."

"No, what's going on?"

"You remember what you told me before I left the last time?"

"I remember. You ready to sack up and work on your control."

"I think so. I keep having these dreams, you know? Every time I close my eyes, I dream that I turn into the other guy and can't change back. It's like, it's death while I'm still living, and I'm so fucking tired of it."

"You look tired. Go find one of the bedrooms, sleep, come find me in the morning and we'll talk."

"But—do you actually have any ideas that could help?"

Tony smirked. "Who do you think you're talking to? Yeah, you might say that I have some ideas. Now go sleep before you pass out and I have to get a robot to carry you to bed."

Bruce nodded shallowly and turned to go.

Tony sniffed and called after him, "Showering would be a good idea, too!"

~~~

 

"I'm not interested in drugs," Bruce said out of nowhere as he sat drinking coffee in a corner of the lab.

"Really? But they're so much fun."

"You know what I mean. I don't want to try to control the other guy with drugs, if that's what you have in mind."

"What? No, that's for amateurs. I've been thinking about this a lot, in between about a hundred other projects, and I have some solid ideas but I think the first step is to ditch this bullshit about 'the other guy.' The hulk is a part of you, amplified. Literally."

Bruce frowned. "So then the damage the hulk has done is all on my head. That makes me feel so much better, thank you."

"No. You were injured—damaged—doing important work, noble work. The other things that've happened are just part of that damage, but thinking about the hulk as a separate person is just keeping you from having more control."

"So I should be one with my inner beast, is that what you're saying?"

"If you want to put it that way, sure. What I have in mind is like training, exercises to build your control. You'll change into the hulk and work on holding on to some part of _you_ during the change so that you can guide what happens. The hulk likes to hit things, fine; the trick is to only hit the right things."

"And how many people are you going to throw into the arena with me? You have a bunch of enemies you want to get rid of?"

As appealing as that idea was in a theoretical sense, Tony had to be realistic at least some of the time. "Oh, no, I'll be working with you personally."

"You?" Bruce ran a hand over his face, his shoulders slumping. "I'm not going to be responsible for hurting you, and the suit doesn't make you invincible."

"Ah, but we already know that the hulk has an interest in my wellbeing. And I've built a new suit that should be perfect for this project."

"How sure were you that I'd come knocking on your door?"

"Very sure." Tony flashed a triumphant smile at Bruce. "Anyway, the new suit isn't as maneuverable as I usually prefer, but it's more robust—serious armor plating, active cushioning, inertial dampeners on all sides, the works. You're not going to be able to hurt me in this suit."

"How sure are you of that?"

"Pretty sure. I'm more than a little bit good at this, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. But why are you doing this for me? Time, money, risking your own skin?"

"I get bored."

"Yeah, okay."

"You deserve to be helped. And it makes me nuts, a mind like yours hiding away while you give immunizations and take temperatures. With me, you could do more than that."

"It's important work, what I do."

"I know it is, but I can pay ten shiny new med school grads to go do that work if that's what it takes to get you to stay."

"You know that money can't fix everything, right?"

"Granted. But in my experience there aren't many problems that can't be improved by the right combination of money, time, intelligence and effort."

Bruce sighed and shook his head. "I hope you don't plan on letting me trash your building now that it's all put together in one piece again."

"Oh, no I bought an old airplane hangar out in Newark and had it reinforced."

"Anybody ever tell you you're overconfident?"

"Things usually work out my way. Not always, but I have a feeling this is going to be one of the good ones."

"I—you know, it feels strange to say that I hope you're right because ever since my accident and all the crap that followed I've done my best not to hope for anything other than...peace. Surcease. But I really do hope that this plan of yours works."

"Well, you might not have heard this about me, but I very, _very_ rarely disappoint."

"That's good to know." Bruce looked down at his coffee, his face softer than Tony had ever seen it before. "So, when do we start?"

Tony grinned, his mind racing with what he could reschedule, what he could delegate, what he could delete from his calendar. "How about after breakfast?"

Bruce ran a hand over the back of his neck and smiled, and Tony thought that he wanted to see that smile more, a lot more.

**Author's Note:**

> This story has a timestamp [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2160672/chapters/4723674).


End file.
